Fountain of Youth is a new film set to premiere on Apple TV+ tomorrow. Directed by Guy Ritchie, the film stars John Krasinski, Natalie Portman,
Eiza González, Domhnall Gleeson, Arian Moayed, Laz Alonso, Carmen Ejogo, Stanley Tucci. Two estranged siblings partner on a global heist to find the mythological Fountain of Youth. They must use their knowledge of history to follow clues on an epic adventure that will change their lives … and possibly lead to immortality.

Between Guy Ritchie and the cast attached, you couldn’t convince me more to watch it. I wasn’t expecting anything perfect, but I was still expecting a good time. Apple TV+ has been more selective lately with what premieres in theaters and what doesn’t, so I was cautious. At the end of the day, I think this film will be passable and enjoyable to viewers. This just did nothing for me.

To start with the positives, you can sense where Guy Ritchie injects his energy with the direction. The camera work is sharp and calculated. There is a fast-paced energy that is exciting, and honestly, Eiza González turns in the best character work between her action and characteristics. Maybe that’s also because she has worked with Guy Ritchie before. I do believe if you are a fan of movies like National Treasure, The Mummy, or Indiana Jones, you will find something enjoyable here.

Even though I am a fan of those three titles I mentioned, the film’s biggest problem is that it wears its influences on its sleeve to a degree where the film struggles to find its own identity. The film ends up becoming a carbon copy of better films. Not only does this not once show why it needs to exist, but it’s something that feels confused with what it wants to be, resulting a predictable story and performances that aren’t sure what they need to be.

When I think of Guy Ritchie at his most fun, I tend to think of Sherlock Holmes, but it still has a sense of darkness to it that helps the characters feel grounded. Here, nearly everyone feels miscast in a film that is not sure what tone it wants to go for. John Krasinski is one of my favorite actors working today. It feels like he’s never sure what movie he is in. He goes from goofy to serious in a blink of an eye without much of a motive. Natalie Portman looks like she is sleepwalking through this. Domhnall Gleeson looks like he is here for a paycheck.

It’s clear everyone involved is excited to be in a Guy Ritchie project, but can never fully commit to what he is trying to do. With this being a straight-to-streaming release, it looks like everyone is really just trying to do something fun to share with their loved ones. That’s fine, but when you have talented people working on this, it should be able to be a winner for the streaming service. Based on what I am seeing, it seems like the film is doing well with those who saw it early in theaters. I can imagine this doing well in theaters with people enjoying it. Due to the quality, I think Apple made the right move with skipping a theatrical release.

I tried looking up the budget afterwards and I couldn’t find it. I am very curious as to what it is, because this film looks rough. The CGI background is highly noticable at times. The production design looks good, but it was so clear whenever the talent was in front of a green screen. With the talent involved, I am sure Apple spent a LOT of money on it. Since this is a streaming movie now, the film tries to set up a sequel that will never happen. You will immediately forget this film exists the day after watching it.

Saying a script feels like it was generated by AI feels like a common thing said nowadays, but the feeling holds true here. The dialogue is so wooden & cliche throughout. These characters didn’t feel relatable at all. I also don’t understand why John Krasinski & Natalie Portman needed to be sibling other than the film trying to be different and not having a love interest. Lastly, there is a ridiculous plot twist that I called from the very beginning.

Overall, I wanted Fountain of Youth to be better. If you are a fan of the genre or want to watch something with the family, you could probably do much worse. There are components that work, but the bad heavily outweighs the good. I was hoping for something more original and exciting rather than the film trying to be a replica of something better. I hate being this negative, but hopefully criticisms like this will reach the right people and show how films like this can do better and work as a big hit.

VERDICT: 1.5/5 (Pretty Bad)